what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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