So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
