Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
