Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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