This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
please come you make the beer taste better
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
