Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
