I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
