Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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