I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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