i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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