I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
