Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
