On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
