I am spending my child support on dildos
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize