If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
