the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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