Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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