NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
