Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
