You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
