What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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