kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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