no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
