I need help removing her.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
