im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
