Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
