She said her name was "party"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
