plz talk dirty to me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
