I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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