sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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