You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
