We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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