Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
