I feel great
I just peed on a car
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize