yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
