I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
