Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
