You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize