Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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