Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
