I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
