dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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