did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
