I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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