just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
