my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
