Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
