so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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