Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
