just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
