and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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