Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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