I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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