Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize