she takes plan B like it's going out of style
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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