she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
