dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
