At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She bit a glass in half.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
