I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
