drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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