Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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