roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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