i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
