it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
