Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
