Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize