smell my finger.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
two words...techno handjob
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
