Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize