Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
