So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
