Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
