Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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