Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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