a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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