Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
