: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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